American Reunion

Alright, now we’ve got a film worth reviewing.

I am coming into American Reunion having loved American Pie 1 and 2, and endured American Wedding. But I don’t just have the pleasure of watching the theatrical releases, I’ve also seen Band Camp, Book of Love, Naked Mile, and Beta House. Of course, most original cast members never showed up in those films, so they’ve sat mainly as a joke in film history. Having seen everything, I can honestly say that American Reunion is the worst in the franchise.


Turns out when the boys hit 30, they stopped being funny. All except Stifler (Seann William Scott), who is LITERALLY the only cast member worth watching in this film. Jim (Jason Biggs) has been doing way too much P90X, and his story with Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) is boring. Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy) seems game, but poor writing hinders his character (Look! Jim’s Dad is smoking Weed!). Thomas Ian Nicholas and Eddie Kaye Thomas are now HORRIBLE actors (so much so, they make Chris Klein look good), and brief appearances by Natasha Lyonne and Shannon Elizabeth offer nothing.

The only redeemable quality is the humor that Stifler brings to the film.



The Expendables 2

It’s been a few years since my last review, so this may take a minute to get back in. I’m not sure if Expendables 2 is the film to really jumpstart my writing, but it has to happen. The format from the first film (bring every successful action star together) works again here as the original team (Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture) adds some new faces (Nan Yu, Liam Hemsworth), sees returning faces with more screen time (Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger), meets a lone wolf (Chuck Norris), and a new villain (Jean Claude Van Damme).

The writing is pretty standard. Of course, there are the in jokes about Terminator, Die Hard, and Rambo. The fighting is pretty good, an relies heavily on fast cuts and explosions so you can’t tell if it’s the old guys or stunt doubles. Van Damme makes an excellent villain, and everyone else seems to be having fun around him. It’s a shame no one told Liam Hemsworth, cause his overacting is distracting. Are there better movies? Yeah. Will you still likely have fun? Sure. Especially if you enjoyed the first one, it’s almost exactly on par in terms of quality.


Is Clint Eastwood Losing His Shit?
Clint Eastwood believes that Obama is the “greatest hoax” ever played on the American Public. Now, this statement should carry weight, since he is 82 years old and has been around long enough to know some pretty great hoaxes. For example, he was 8 years old on the date of the infamous War of the Worlds radio broadcast, where a majority of the public missed the opening statements about the following story being fiction, and all believed that the world was under attack from alien invaders and that major cities were being wiped out. Can you imagine being in one of those cities, and being told that you were dead?

Or how about Clifford Irving, who supposedly was contracted by notorious recluse Howard Hughes for his bio/memoir. He landed a huge upfront sum for his book deal, and produced a novel that turned out to be entirely made up. That’s a pretty big hoax.

No, the fact that the majority of Americans voted for Barack Obama is actually the biggest hoax to date. Thank you Clint Eastwood. And here I was thinking that the biggest hoax was actually J. Edgar, or perhaps Blood Work. But perhaps if I saw a Barack Obama that clearly no one else can see, I might start thinking it was a hoax as well.

Mitt Romney Doesn’t Understand “Separation of Church and State”

I pulled this quote from a Huffington Post article:

“I think their having removed purposefully God from their platform suggests a party which is increasingly out of touch with the mainstream of American people,” Romney said in an interview with Fox News. “I think this party is veering further and further away into an extreme wing that Americans don’t recognize.”

He’s upset because the Democrats didn’t acknowledge the Christian God in their political platform. I guess we are supposed to ignore the Bill of Rights now, and the four fathers intent on separation of church and state. For someone who comes from a religion that some Christians view as a cult (no shit), you’d think he’d have a bit more open view on this matter.

I’m getting tired of Mitt Romney and his bullshit. He and Paul Ryan are getting away with murder out there, and it’s time to speak up about it. I might post about movies and TV too, but I’m also going to let people know that Mitt Romney isn’t on their side. So, wise up non-Christians. Mitt Romney doesn’t give a damn about you.